9 months. It’s been 9 months since I used alcohol as an escape. For the past 9 months, I have been REALLY living. Everything has been clear and real. There have been some tough times, where I think about a really big glass of wine and how warm it would make me feel, and how it will loosen me up, but I don’t want to sacrifice my clarity, and the thought of waking up foggy keeps me away from it, too. So, 9 months. That’s how long the average pregnancy is. Well, when I get pregnant, I know I can go at least 9 months without alcohol, so that’s good.
Not until recently, have I really started thinking about how big an impact alcohol has had on my life. Now, 9 months sober, I am having to really get to know the real me, and it’s a little scary. It’s scary to think about doing things, which in the past a few glasses of wine would make a lot easier, or so I thought. Am I going to like the sober me? Will other people like the sober me? I have had to completely adjust my life to fit my new lifestyle. My time is much better spent these days, and I never feel like I am wasting my day. Yes, I had many, many good times while drinking, but it is time for me to grow up. I have thoroughly enjoyed my party days, but I have certain goals, and continuing that lifestyle is not going to bring me any closer to obtaining them.
I am not anti-drinking by any means, in fact, I enjoy hanging out with people who drink; It is entertaining. I still can do everything I did when I drank, but without the waste of money and the crappy hangover the next day, and sometime many days after. I am not anti-drinking for most people, but for me, and for now, I am anti-drinking for myself. How long am I going to go? I have no idea. But for now, it’s working, and why change what works.